the altar of self.
I’ve made an idol of myself.
it’s painfully apparent now that the Lord has revealed it to me — i’ve constructed an altar to worship who I am in this world rather than who I am IN CHRIST.
definition of altar from holman bible dictionary: “an altar is a structure used in worship as the place for presenting sacrifices to God or gods.
Old Testament The Hebrew word for altar that is used most frequently in the Old Testament is formed from the verb for slaughter and means literally, “slaughter place.” Altars were used primarily as places of sacrifice, especially animal sacrifice.”
it doesn’t take much to see it now: just looking around my room, browsing my tweets or facebook posts or skimming through my closet makes it pretty clear. i’ve got things set up just right. you only see the parts of me I want you to, and i like it that way.
i make my sacrifices of worship at the altar of self, giving my best time and my best intentions secure that i get the praise and attention that I feel I need.
tonight, while sitting in my room and praying about the lack of focus and weight of my own weaknesses i’ve been wallowing in, God brought those words to my mind.
altar of self.
i have to admit, i didn’t even understand at first. then colossians 3:1-17 gave me everything i needed:
“put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and coveteousness, WHICH IS IDOLATRY.”
coveteousness is idolatry. wanting what they have. wanting their attention. wanting my glory more than Christ’s.
and then this:
“truth be told, what we all deserve is not to feel beautiful, but rather to be condemned to hell for sinfully seeking to attract the worship of our fellow creatures instead of living to bring glory to God” - carolyn mahaney
but “oh, to grace how great a debtor, daily i’m constrained to be!” … God is faithful to reveal my sin and cover me with the blood of Christ. He lets me return to the altar of grace, where His blood was sacrificed for me.
“for you have died, and YOUR life is HIDDEN with CHRIST in God.” (colossians 3:3)
sorry for the scattered thoughts. that’s just things as they are tonight :)
